Okay, I’m getting ready to unleash again. What you are about to read may seem random to you, but they have one common thread. These are all things that really tick me off.
1. When you are driving on a two-lane winding road with double yellow stripes and there is an obstruction in your lane such as a mail truck or bicycle rider, do NOT cross the yellow line and drive directly at me so that I need to slam on my brakes to avoid a head-on collision. If the obstruction is on your side of the lines, then it is YOU who have to slow down.
2. When you are driving down a three-lane highway and the car in your lane is going too slow, do NOT cut me off by jumping in front of me in my lane when there is not enough room. Why should I have to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting you so you don’t have to break your stride?
3. When you are pushing your shopping cart up and down aisles, slow down when you get to the end of each aisle to see if someone is coming across. Do NOT come charging out of the end of your aisle at full speed and then act surprised, or worse, rude, if you hit someone with your cart.
4. Take care of your children, most especially the littlest of them. If you do not think this is important, then please don’t give birth to them. Among the many things you should not do: DON’T take them to a casino and leave them sitting outside the gambling floor while you spend their grocery money-I have seen babies and elementary school-age children there. I’m not sure why this is legal. DON’T allow them to run through active parking lots. They are too short to be seen by drivers. Hold their hands. Safety and health first in all decisions relating to raising children.
5. If your dog craps in my yard, clean it up. I know you saw him do it. ‘Nuff said.
6. If I upset you, just tell me, damn it. The hateful glances, whispers with your friends and cold shoulder are not mature ways of dealing with it. Why is it so hard to just spit it out?
7. If you are working in a store serving people, be nice. Customer service is #1, just like the commercials say. If you are unpleasant, I am less likely to come back and spend my hard-earned money. If a lot of people stop coming for the same reason, you are likely to be laid off because of a drop in business, or just outright fired for your gnarly-ness. Business 101. We all have bad days; leave it at home. How would you like me, as a teacher, to take out my stress on your child? I thought so.
8. Use your manners. For cryin’ outloud, do I really need to say this?? Please, thank you, excuse me, sorry, can I hold that door for you, can I help you reach that…these are social niceties that go a long way towards making the world a more pleasant place. Also, as my husband likes to remind me: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Kill ‘em with kindness and they won’t know what hit ‘em. Take your choice of homey sayings- they are all true. Thanks.
9. Automated phone systems. Press 1 to charge you a dollar for every number I have to press and every minute it takes me to reach a human being, all while listening to aggravating sounds loosely defined as “music.”
10. Be quiet in the movie theater or play theater during the feature presentation. Just be quiet. Is it that hard?
11. Stop throwing litter out of your car window while you are driving. I get that you don’t want a messy car. But I don’t want a messy planet. Planet trumps car, keep a plastic bag in your car until you find a garbage can.
Gee, I feel better….I know nothing is going to change, but at least I got it off my mind. Anything bugging you? Feel free to share. 🙂