Happy Birthday to Me

I was born on this date, fifty one years ago.  As I write this number, so many thoughts run through my head. 

First, that’s a damned large number.  When I was a teenager, that was beyond ancient.  I made a pact with a good friend the year we turned fifteen to find each other the year we turned thirty and commit suicide together.  I write this now with no compunctions for a number of reasons.   We were not depressed or suicidal at that time; it just seemed to our adolescent minds that no one would want to live to be that old, that we would no longer be having any fun in our lives, that there would be nothing to look forward to,  that, essentially, our lives would be over so why drag it out.  The year we turned thirty, I actually called her and reminded her, and we both had a giant laugh about it.  Now, twenty-one years later, I find it even funnier.  But I am glad that I never forgot the thinking we had at the time- it has helped keep me grounded.  And it has helped me make sure my life is still fun.

Second,  so much has happened to me over this half century that it is hard to keep track.  And so much of it was unplanned, at least in my conscious mind, that it takes quiet time to reflect on it all.  I have a shortage of quiet time right now in my life, but I grab a few minutes here and there.  It’s important. 

Third, my priorities are so clear right now, it is a bit scary.  My kids, first and foremost, my heirs, my genetic connection to the future;  they mean everything to me at a cellular level.  They know, and if they are reading this, they are feeling it in their hearts, that I would do anything for them that it is in my power to do.  Their satisfaction with their lives and choices is my #1 living, breathing, every waking moment.  No pressure kids! 🙂 My husband is right up there with them- my soul mate that holds my hand as we traipse and slog through this life together.   Maybe I’m over the top about this, but I can’t help it, so we all have to deal.  Hey, it’s my birthday and I can say whatever I want.  I’ll apologize and gloss it over tomorrow.

Fourth and finally, mainly because I have to get to work, it’s not over for me!  Who knew, way back then, that after all of these adventures and happenings, there would be more fun and games in store.  We are off on a new venture that is givng us agida, excitement and new energy all at the same time.

I have one birthday wish that I know cannot come true, but here it is.  I wish I could come back one hundred years after I am gone, just to see what mischief mankind has gotten itself into.  I think about how the world would appear to my Oma, if she were still alive.  And my curiosity keeps me wondering what life will be like on this planet in the 22nd century. 

As I go through this day, already filled with Facebook wishes and a lovely card from one of my daughters, and a whistled Happy Birthday from my husband at 6 a.m., I will enjoy every moment as a gift to myself.  And I look forward to the next 51 years!

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6 Responses to Happy Birthday to Me

  1. Mel says:

    Happy birthday Mom!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a fabulous 51 year old… and sis would outdo me with a card.

  2. Jeannee says:

    Happy Birthday! You share it w/ my daughter, who turns milestone-30

  3. donnadownunder says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!!!

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